And all the while

Let me not be disappointed,
sour,
desolate …

and all the while you love me.

Do not let me break apart,
fracture into hard-hearted fragments
of my former self …

and all the while you heal me.

Draw me to yourself.
Let me find my beauty, my meaning, my goodness
in you.
Let me kneel down sorrowing for all the penny-pinching
ways I find to stop saying yes to the call
to love, to give, to walk the mile …

and all the while you believe in me.

Do not let my enemies triumph.
Do not let the darkness have the last word.
Come Holy Spirit, revive me.
Come Holy Spirit, release me.
Come Holy Spirit, pour your balm of consolation
over all that cries out for healing …

and all the while you lead me.

Widow III: Lost coin?

I did not lose my coin, I gave it.
Gave it into your hands for keeping,
trusting that you would weigh its value.

Head held high, I gave it.
Knowing the truth of my relenting, repenting, unburdening.
I gave it to you for always.

How can I now take back the gift? Question the way?
Unearth the treasure from its burial place?
Only you and I can walk this road until its end.
Only I and you can take the step that’s called for
next.
Into your hands, for loving.

Worthless woman? Worth more than thousands of sparrows you said.

Widow II: Two lost coins

Two coins, lost.
What did you do with my loving?

What did you do with my loving?

Squandered fruitlessly
or lavished long into the night?
How will I ever know the wherefore and the why?

One lost coin.
Sweep out my life O Lord
till I can see you in every space; each nook and cranny.

No riches now, no treasure.
All gone, all empty
save you.

Receive the pulsing of life
the shock of the waves
the dazzling joy
my all.

What will you do with my loving?

Widow I: Widow's Coin

It's not enough. I’m not enough. What would ever be enough?
I must lose it all, let it tumble to the ground
because of my loving of you.

And I come weeping with my two small coins grasped tightly in my hand.
No, don't take it all away! No, don't leave me alone!

I don't want more than you can give. You are enough in your poverty.

Me in my poverty. Me in my poverty. Me still after all these years in my poverty.
Stuck it out, all for you.

Stick with me now, it’s all for you.

It's only the beginning of it all. .... this loving.
Only the beginning.
Empty out all the unending griefs. Empty out all those cherished dreams.
Empty out all those broken promises. Empty out what will never be
and let me fill you with my dream for you.
My dream for you.
My full life of all the things you never dreamed in a hundred, thousand years
could have been meant for you.
Risk it, surrender the all.

A blessing

May the God of Goodness shower you with blessings.
May the love and fidelity of God the Father nurture your daily living.
May the passion and truth of Jesus be your inspiration.
May the freedom and conviction of the Holy Spirit be your guide.

Remain in my love

John ch 15
As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Remain in my love ... just as I remain in his love. I have told you this so that my own joy may be in you and your joy be complete. Love one another, as I have loved you. ... You are my friends. ... I call you friends.
I am called to be part of this amazing circle of love and life that is the Trinity. In the power and strength of the Holy Spirit I am drawn into such a depth of compassionate, overflowing love. Dwelling in the heart of this 'holy friendship' nurtures me, graces me, sends me out to proclaim a gospel of joy. True friendship builds me up, stretches me and turns me towards the other.

The healing

Luke 17: 12-19
As Jesus entered a village, ten lepers approached him. Keeping their distance, they called out, saying “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!” When he saw them, he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were made clean. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turning back, praising God with a loud voice. He prostrated himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him. And he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus asked, “Were not ten made clean? But the other nine where are they? Was none of them found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well.”

I keep my distance and yet all the while I follow. I am not worthy. Have mercy, Lord, have mercy. Dare I approach your healing presence? Could it be that you will heal me too? I believe, help my unbelief. And as I turn I can hardly believe that it has happened to me, this new chance for life to the full. The desire to praise you exceeds all I ever knew. Face down before you the words spill out before your feet. Give thanks.